


Merry Christmas Baigan

by rachaellikestoread



Category: Final Fantasy IV
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Christmas, Christmas Song Parodies, Fellatio, M/M, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, ear licking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:26:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2807597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachaellikestoread/pseuds/rachaellikestoread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baigan isn’t too fond of Christmas, but Cecil gives him a reason to enjoy it anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Christmas Baigan

**Author's Note:**

> Note: When Cecil’s body is described as “trying to escape the stimulation,” it’s a reaction similar to kicking while you’re being tickled. He’s not fighting against Baigan.

Christmastime had come to Baron. All the citizens were bustling about, eagerly comparing purchases and bargains with one another, singing Christmas carols, making snowmen. Really, Baigan thought the whole business was rather silly, but Cagnazzo had said the people would be suspicious if the royal guard didn't carry out its annual role of decorating the castle with holly, garland, and colored balls.

" _Jingle bells, Batman smells! Robin laid an egg! The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away_!" It was the only Christmas song Baigan liked, but he was only allowed to sing it once per hour--otherwise the rest of the guard would abandon him to do the decorations by himself, with the good King's blessing. Cagnazzo hated the song, too, even though he didn't mind the nigh-constant renditions of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" and "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas."

The Joker--now _there_ was a villain who got the respect he deserved. One of Batman's many arch-nemeses, both feared and loved by fans everywhere, the Joker would _never_ be expected to put up Christmas decorations. Baigan was sure of that.

But Baigan wasn't even a _villain_ so much as a _boss_ , and a minor boss at that, a prelude to the much more important fight against Cagnazzo himself. What a miserable existence.

" _Through the years we all will be together...If the fates allow_..." Even Cecil was singing some hokey, old-timey Christmas song about spending the holidays with your family and letting your heart be light and all that crap. Honestly, a dark knight should know better. " _Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow_."

Wait, what?

"Hey, that's not how it goes!" Kain complained. "'Muddle through somehow'? A little depressing, don't you think?"

"That's how it goes," Cecil said, surprised. "Why, what did you hear growing up?"

Kain shook his head in disgust. "It's ' _Hang a shining star upon the highest bough_.' Why would such a serene song say something like 'We'll have to muddle through somehow'?"

Cecil shrugged and hung a shining star upon the highest bough of the Christmas tree. "It's a poignant song, a wistful song. The point of it is to cherish this precious day of joy and peace, because we'll all go back to killing each other tomorrow. Every Christmas could be your last one."

"A good song for a country about to go to war," Baigan said cheerfully. "Got any other world-weary songs for us?"

Kain groaned.

"Hmm..." Cecil paused with a candy cane ornament in his hand. "I suppose there's 'Blue Christmas.' It's about missing your loved ones during the holidays."

"What about 'The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot'?" one of the other knights suggested. "If the fact expressed in the title isn't sad enough, the song even says that he doesn't have a father."

Kain groaned a second time and put his head in his hands. "That's awful," he mumbled.

"Who are you to talk?" a knight juggling some glass ball ornaments demanded. "You're the one who keeps singing 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.'"

"That's different," Kain insisted, his face turning red. "It's just a silly song."

"No, it's a depressing song," the good-looking knight said. "The grandmother dies."

"It doesn't say she dies! It says she got run over by a reindeer. Maybe she survived."

All at once, the other knights joined in the argument.

"No, no, she's definitely dead. It says the entire family's dressed in black."

"And remember the 'hoof prints on her forehead'? She didn't just get run over; she got _trampled_."

"What's up with that, anyway? 'Hoof _prints_ '? As in more than one? Have you seen a reindeer? They're huge! I don't care what kind of fivehead Granny had, there would only be room for one hoof print."

"Well, maybe there were like...Oh, how do I explain this?" A knight sucking on a candy cane scowled. "The outlines of the hoof print. Okay, so like, the _left_ outline of the hoof print is visible, right? Well, maybe the right, too. Because, you know, it hit her forehead in the exact right spot. Then the next hoof print came, and it was a little to the left--the right, I mean--so that the left outline of _that_ hoof print was visible, but maybe not the right. And maybe a few more like that, so that there was this..." He sighed and made several curved lines in the air. "This _line_ of left edges. And each line is _part_ of a hoof print, so they count as hoof prints." He put his face in his hands and shook his head. "Oh, I don't know!"

The room had fallen silent. Finally, Kain nodded slowly. "That was...quite a good explanation, really."

"Agreed," Baigan said. "You, there! Candy Cane! What's your name?"

The candy cane knight stood up straight and saluted. "Clyde, sir!"

"Clyde! You get a 500-gil increase in daily wages starting New Year's!"

Everyone's jaw dropped.

"Hmph." Cecil frowned and continued to decorate the tree.

The knights spent the rest of the afternoon discussing Christmas carols instead of singing them--a vast improvement, as far as Baigan was concerned.

***

 _Come to my place his time_ , he'd said. _As your Christmas gift to me_.

Christmas gift! What kind of hedgehog did the little bastard take him for? Baigan didn't give Christmas gifts to anyone. Baigan didn't even celebrate Christmas. Not if he could help it. No more than was necessary, anyway. 

What did Cecil think Baigan was, anyway--human?

Well...yes. That was Baigan's disguise, after all. A good-looking soldier in his early 40s, loyal to the king and country, a father (and sometimes lover) to his men.

Damn it all, but there were a lot of stairs in this building. No wonder Cecil was in such good shape. Such good, lean, muscular, smooth shape. Baigan licked his lips.

"Took you long enough," Cecil said lightly as Baigan stepped into his room. He was wearing a red, velvet bathrobe with white, faux-fur trimming. It reminded Baigan of something obnoxious. 

"You're wearing a Santa outfit," Baigan grumbled. 

Cecil winked. "The perfect outfit to get our jollies on to." 

Baigan pulled off his shirt, continuing to meet Cecil's smirk with a scowl. "I never did see the point in wearing something for sex."

"That's because you have no imagination," Cecil teased. "A lot of people wear fantasy outfits and such during sex. Gives the whole process a little bit of flavor."

With a hungry growl, Baigan pushed Cecil against the wall and kissed him, hard and deep. He gripped Cecil's face in his hands, nails digging into Cecil's scalp. He heard Cecil make a little whine and felt Cecil's arms wrap around his waist. "What was that about lacking flavor?" he murmured after pulling away.

"I didn't say it did," Cecil breathed, his fingertips trailing down Baigan's chest. "I just said it added a little bit. Come on, don't you think this color suits me?"

Baigan had to smile then. He hooked a finger around the sash holding the entire ensemble together, and whispered, "Nothing suits you better."

Cecil grinned. "I see what you did there." This time he was the one to initiate the kiss. His tongue pushed into Baigan's mouth, hot and demanding.

"Mmm..." Baigan pushed Cecil onto the bed this time. "Take it off. This time of year makes me impatient."

"You're like a little kid..." Cecil laughed, then moaned as Baigan began to suck on his ear. "B...Baigan..."

Baigan pinned Cecil's wrists to the bed as he continued to tease him, sliding the tip of his tongue inside. He felt Cecil's body tense and squirm underneath his own, instinctively trying to escape the sensation.

"Oh...oh, Baigan...!" Cecil's voice was high, sweet, helpless. His hips pushed up insistently against Baigan's body, his erect cock pestering him for stimulation. "Please..."

"Shut up," hissed Baigan, his baser nature shining through. "I already gave you your gift. Now it's time for mine."

He wasn't planning to hurt the lad, of course. No, Cecil enjoyed this sort of teasing. And Baigan was willing to play the villain because, well...

 _Because I always wanted to be a villain_.

Baigan pulled his mouth away from Cecil's ear and kissed him again, gently this time. One of his hands let go of one of Cecil's wrists and lightly stroked his chest. "You're too sensitive for your own good, boy. Is Rosa even able to get on before you get off?" He brushed his thumb against one of Cecil's nipples. Ah, the sweet cries his lover made! "These nipples are _begging_ to be teased." He planted a light kiss on the nipple, making Cecil's body jerk beneath him.

Predictably, the fingers of Cecil's free hand entangled themselves in Baigan's hair. "Yes..." he sighed. "Tease them."

Baigan flicked the tip of his tongue against Cecil's nipple several times, smugly noting how quickly it grew erect. He raised his head so he could see Cecil's expression. "Enjoying this?"

"Yes," Cecil answered. His eyes were half-shut in pleasure, his lips in a pout as he gazed up at Baigan. "I didn't say you could stop."

Baigan ignored the boy's impudence for the sole reason that he wished to taste those sweet nipples before moving south. This time, he pressed the flat of his tongue against the same nipple as before while lightly teasing the other with his fingertips. He knew that most human men went overboard with the nipples, pinching them and twisting them when all they needed was a feather-light touch to awaken their sensitivity and make their owner beg for more. Like couscous and homicide, they were never given the appreciation they truly deserved.

Deciding the time was right, Baigan wrapped his lips around the nipple and began to suck.

Cecil let out a yelp and squeezed Baigan's hips with his thighs. "Baigan!" he whimpered, and Baigan could feel Cecil's cock rubbing against him. 

Baigan continued to suck, letting Cecil push against him as much as he liked. It didn't matter; Cecil wouldn't come until Baigan wanted him to. He may not be the most wicked of dark knights, but he had surprisingly good self-control. Baigan sucked even harder, rubbing the very tip of the nipple with his tongue, feeling it swell from the suction,, encouraged by Cecil's cries. Those sweet, generous moans were music to Baigan's ears--they meant that Cecil was truly at his mercy. Satisfied, he pulled away.

"Ah! Ah...ohhhh..." Cecil let out a groan of disappointment. "You could have kept going a bit longer, you know." Ahh, how delectable those nipples looked now, dark in color and shamelessly pouting out! It made his own cock swell within his breeches to see them so hard with desire.

"Yes, I know you like delayed gratification as much as I hate it," Baigan said. "But I'm in a hurry to get back to my room. Unlike you, I've got administrative duties as well as military ones."

Cecil laughed. "You just don't want Rosa catch you. I've told you already, she wouldn't mind."

"And I've told you, I don't care about your sweet little princess," Baigan hissed. "Or whether she minds or not. But that damn holy aura of hers makes me sick. And I don't like being watched, anyway."

He began to kiss Cecil again. His cock continued to harden as he coaxed Cecil's mouth open yet again, and the satisifed sounds the lad made made Baigan's head spin. He sucked on Cecil's lower lip as his fingers began to trail down Cecil's chest. He pulled away from Cecil's now-gasping mouth and planted a slow line of kisses along his collarbone. His hand fumbled with the sash around Cecil's waist.

"Here, let me help you." Cecil shrugged out of the bathrobe as Baigan ripped off the sash and flung it unceremoniously onto the floor. "Your turn." 

Baigan loosened his belt and pulled off his breeches and socks, throwing everything onto the floor with the sash. "Why do you hum--why do we humans wear so much clothing, anyway? It only gets in the way." Naked as the day he chewed his way out of a ninteen-legged abomination's womb, he threw himself onto his lover again and trailed the tip of his tongue down Cecil's body. Ahhh, how divine this human flesh tasted. Other monsters had no sense of delicacy, sinking their teeth into human meat, going straight for the vitals, not even bothering to taste anything.

But Baigan wasn't interested in Cecil's internal organs. No, he went straight for the very _essence_ of the matter.

"Turn around," Cecil was panting, over and over. "Turn around, dammit. I want to taste you, too."

Baigan obeyed, only--or so he told himself--because damned if he wasn't as hard as a rock at this point. Hovering over Cecil's sensuous lips, he felt Cecil's hot breath tickle the tip of his cock and groaned aloud. "Go on, then," he spat. "Quit talking and just do it." At the same time, he lowered his mouth onto Cecil's member.

 _Fuck_ , it was good.

Nothing tasted better than fresh human cock, throbbing and hot. The nectar is leaked was better than any tasteless food in the world of mortals. Slowly, his rubbed his tongue over the slick head, holding down Cecil's hips as they jerked helplessly.

Cecil was no greenhorn when it came to giving head. He wrapped his lips around the tip of Baigan's member and engulfed it completely, making exaggerated moans as he gripped Baigan's ass with both hands.

"Oh, God!" he gasped before taking it in again. "Your rod is so big and thick. I love it."

Ignoring Cecil's pettish praise, Baigan gripped Cecil's rocky thighs as he slowly moved his head up and down along Cecil's length. Baigan's own hips twitched and began to move of their own accord, thrusting ever deeper into Cecil's throat.

"Mmf!" Cecil made a sound of protest and pushed against Baigan's hips, pulling his member out partway. "Crrful," he grunted. "Mmgna chke."

Baigan took care to control his thrusts then, not wanting Cecil to vomit all over his precious manhood. His hands moved from Cecil's thighs to his balls and began to gently massage them. Ah, yes, there it was--that deliciously bitter syrup, the ambrosia of mortals. Pulling his head up to taste it, Baigan brushed the tip of his finger against the outer sphintor of Cecil's anus. "Your cockhead's leaking," he informed Cecil. "I think you're going to come first this time."

Cecil spat out Baigan's member. "Like hell I am!" he snarled before sucking it back in.

Baigan had to admit, Cecil had been practicing. He didn't come quite as easily as he once had, and Baigan had to try march harder to hold out now. Maybe Rosa had given Cecil some pointers; it certainly wouldn't be the first time.

He inhaled sharply as he felt the pads of Cecil's fingers press along his taint. Now _that_ was a new move. Baigan grunted and continued to administer to Cecil's asshole. Feather-light touches, he reminded himself. No finger in the ass, Cecil wasn't into that, although--

" _Fuck_!"

\--Baigan certainly was. So Cecil was going for the gold, was he? But this battle wasn't over yet.

It was time. Baigan took Cecil's cock into his own throat, knowing this simple human couldn't resist a good deep throat. 

Cecil let out a squeal of surprise and pleasure before his seed errupted from the tip of his cock. It made its way down Baigan's ready gullet, settling in his empty stomach. Ahhh, what a feast! It was so good Baigan barely even noticed his orgasm.

"I'll win the next one," Cecil announced as he wiped the remainder of Baigan's come from his chin. "Anyway, I've been meaning to ask. Why does your semen taste like watermelon? I like it. I told Rosa, and she was amazed. She said she's jealous; mine tastes bitter."

"That's why I like it." Baigan sighed with contentment and stretched out on the bed next to Cecil. "I never did like sweet stuff. All other...men like me have come that tastes sweet. That's why I prefer to have sex with hu--I mean, with men like you."

"Ah, I see." Cecil's voice was sleepy as he gazed over at Baigan with languid eyes. "So gay men have sweet-tasting semen, huh?"

"Huh?" Baigan blinked. "Gay men?" 

Cecil winked at him. "That's what you meant, right? Men like you, gay men. You weren't going to say 'monsters' or anything, right?"

"R-right." Shit, the kid knew. Well, he supposed it didn't matter; the events of the game had already been set in motion. _Final Fantasy_? More like _Flatulent Fantasy_ (that's the "inflated in speech" definition of "flatulent," kiddies). "Well, you don't need to go telling anyone anything. Especially not Rosa. There is absolutely no reason for you to share this with Rosa."

"Of course not," Cecil assured him. "I wouldn't want to share any of your watermelon-tasting semen with her. Oh, don't move!" he said suddenly, and he jumped up and darted over to his closet. Pulling out a small box, he brought it over to Baigan and put it in his hands. "For Christmas."

"Hmph." Baigan calmly opened the box and took out an oaken object that had a bit of metal sticking out. "What is it?"

"It's called an army knife," Cecil explained. "It's foldable. It's got a blade, a screwdriver, a reamer, and a can opener. You'd be surprised how handy they can be. They're good for getting canned food open when you're on the field." He grinned. "Rosa got me one for Christmas last year, and I'm never without it."

Baigan rolled his eyes. "I told you not to get me anything." Honestly, what need did he have for a can opener? He swallowed canned food whole, dammit, tin can and all. And if he really wanted to taste those slimy, disgusting peaches, he could rip the can open with his fangs, or force it open with magic, or...

"If you don't want it, just give it to someone else." Cecil's eyes shone with amusement. 

"...I'll keep it," Baigan muttered. "I'll find some use for it." He sighed and clapped a hand on Cecil's shoulder. "I'm going home. I wouldn't want to bump into your sweet little princess."

Cecil laughed. "Why do you hate her so much? She doesn't hate you."

"I don't hate her," Baigan insisted. "I just hate being around her. She's just...too...sweet!" He spat out the last word like something intended to shock.

But of course, Cecil wasn't shocked. "Yeah, you really hate sweet stuff, huh? Well, that's fine. More for me!" He grinned and hopped off the bed. "Better take a shower. You sure you don't want to stick around? Rosa's bringing peppermint schnapps."

"Still too sweet," Baigan grumbled, and he was gone.

***

Another holiday gone. Baigan sat back and looked at his army knife. It might come in handy, after all. But he had now idea how.

"Ahhh," he sighed as he settled into his chair. "Cecil, my dear, I fear I may break your heart one of these days."

Well, Cecil still had his saccharine sweetheart, at least. And he'd be all right: he was, after all, the hero. And his relationship with Baigan might have worked out better if Baigan were a true villain.

But alas, he was only a minor boss.

The End


End file.
